


Alt 12. Water

by Smiley5494



Series: Whumptober 2020 [32]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Don't Try This At Home, Don't Try This In General, Drowning, Gen, POV Merlin (Merlin), POV Second Person, Please stay safe, Post-Canon, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Water, Whumptober 2020, alt 12, this ones pretty dark tbh, tho it doesnt use his name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27024010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiley5494/pseuds/Smiley5494
Summary: You are submerged in the lake, the weight of the world and the chains holding you to the bottom, and though your eyes are open, you do not see the water.
Series: Whumptober 2020 [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965595
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Alt 12. Water

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Smellyfeet04](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smellyfeet04/gifts).



> Smellyfeet04 gave me the first paragraph and sparked this monstrosity. She's absolutely wonderful, and though her mind spawns these dark pieces of writing she's an absolute wonder to be around. Thanks, lovely!! This one's for you!! <3 <3
> 
> prompt:
> 
> alt 12. water

You know, when you’re drowning you don’t actually inhale until right before you blackout. The instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won’t open your mouth until you feel like your head is about to explode. The pain of inhaling water is almost a relief compared to the pounding in your head.

You are submerged in the lake, the weight of the world and the chains holding you to the bottom, and though your eyes are open, you do not see the water. Your mind is stuck in the past, playing a loop of your friends and family. It has been hundreds of years since you have seen them, since you have last spoken with them, and you want nothing more than to join them in eternal sleep.

You tip your head back against the lake bed, your lungs burn with the desire for breath and your head pounds with the pressure of the water and the lack of oxygen. With every thump of your pulse in your ears, you feel the darkness of unconsciousness creeping ever in. You reach for it and it reaches back, a loving embrace.

You long for it as you long for your king.

Your king, who died in your arms; your king, your other half, the heads to your tails, the red to your gold. You long for him, like your lungs long for air. You have lived and died for him and you would burn the world to see him again.

You see the way he looks at his people, you see the way he loves them with all his heart. You see the way he says your name, the emphasis on the first syllable. You see the way he trusts, open and easily, the way each betrayal sits heavily on his shoulders, the way the crown weighs him down. 

You long for him, you yearn for him.

The water is pushing you, and ever so gently you sway in time with the current. The darkness is nearly upon you, your vision blackening until you can see nothing but a distant memory of the sun. Your mouth opens and the water rushes in. You inhale greedily, the pain welcome.

You see nothing.

Then, you see everything.

You are on the shore, your wounds healed, your lungs free of the water you had so easily breathed in. The pain all but a distant memory. You long for your friends and family, the ones who lived and died with you, the ones who loved you and you love back. You long for them and gaze out towards the lake—calm in its everlasting, clear in its intention, cool in its embrace.

One day you will join your friends, your family, your king. But not today, today you will live, however much you yearn for the embrace of the water, the burn of your lungs as you inhale, the pounding of your head as the pressure claims you, another nameless victim to the depths of the water.


End file.
